You have just been told to collect urine from your elderly foster dog. Do not panic. You can do it! With these few helpful hints, you will be gathering pee like a pro. First, ask your children to do it. Remind them of the 3,000 school lunches you have made (you have done the math). […]
Nonfiction
Half
I was barefoot running across a cricket field. A woman in a red headband grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward a pen filled with cute black puppies. “Half Saint Bernard, half Man,” she explained. She said it was a new breed and tried to sell me on the perks. Much smarter than a regular dog. Still snuggly, […]
The Shark Net
My husband of 17 years had an announcement. “Astronomers are saying that one of the stars in Orion is fading and will explode sometime soon.” We were looking up at the sky after a delicious dinner in Western Australia. Our home for several years, we are currently back for a short visit and trying to […]
Big News! I Didn’t Win!
I entered a 53-word story contest and convinced myself I would win. I did not win. This is not the first time I have deluded myself. I once applied to Stanford Business School and was shocked when I didn’t get in. At first, I assumed it was a mistake, that my name must have ended […]
Can Someone Change That Much?
A former white nationalist is sitting at the table next to me, reaching for a miniature fruit tart. I want to tell him he is a goddamn motherfucker and doesn’t get to eat a miniature fruit tart. But I am at an anti-racism event and this man is no longer part of the white nationalist […]