My father loved two things: opera and buying in bulk. I did not get the opera-loving gene, but I do enjoy the adrenaline rush of purchasing 50 items for the price of 10. And I absolutely cannot pass up an opportunity to acquire something for nothing. This might explain why I am the owner of 100 plastic red apples, as well as a previously discarded Ziploc storage bag filled with hand-sewn Barbie clothes.
This tendency also explains the bright red table and three blue chairs that are currently on our front porch. Ask me how much I paid for them. Go ahead, ask me. THAT’S RIGHT! NOTHING! NOTHING I TELL YOU!
Yesterday, over a potluck lunch with our friendly neighbors, I learned about a biannual event happening this week in Perth: Put Stuff You No Longer Need Out On The Verge (Curb) And The City Will Discard It For You. I asked our neighbors, “Say I had a friend who, hypothetically, might be interested in rummaging through items on the street before the city comes to collect? Would this be considered culturally acceptable?” Lo and behold, one bloke’s trash is another bloke’s treasure. Hello Perth, land of magical free things.
Walking to school this morning, the girls and I spotted all sorts of potential goodies: a wooden chest, a white leather couch, four lamps, a toaster oven, a broken bookcase, a red toy fire truck, a wooden planter box, two clothes drying racks. It was as if the entire city had conspired to help an American family whose belongings are on a ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Given that my husband does not share this same giddiness for free stuff, and that, if it were up to him, his wife would not come home with a trunk full of plastic apples, I controlled myself and did not return home with bookcases and electric appliances. However, the girls and I agreed that the red table on the corner of Onslow and Rosalie would work nicely for art projects and science experiments. I promised them I’d swing by with the car later on that day. By “later on,” I meant AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. The minute I got home, I went straight to the car, popped down the back seats, and raced over to the Site of the Red Table. As I was opening the trunk, it occurred to me I hadn’t exactly thought through how I was going to single-handedly get a large rectangular table in my car. But, as they say in Perth, where’s there’s a will, there’s a friendly Australian pulling over in his car to help.
Back home, I managed to get the table out of the trunk and up the stairs. I promptly went for a stroll to find some chairs in the wondrous store known as My Neighborhood. Three blue chairs were sitting on the verge further up the street. With a deep cleaning and some patterned IKEA cushions, these chairs will be perfect. And then I will sit in one of those chairs, take a swig, and toast Dad.
